Girls, How would you feel about this secret?

Let's say that I am your boyfriend and the two of us are living together in a very nice place and we both love each other very much and we are planning to get married soon. I have a hard physical labor job and I work a lot of hours every day. However I have a very abusive father and my boss is a total jerk who could care less if I live or die. My father owns the whole company that I work for and he and my boss are good friends. My father has always pushed me extremely hard ever since I was a child and he always wanted me to be the best otherwise he would consider me a loser and a failure. Yesterday I lost at a competition at work against another company's team and my boss said that I had let the whole team down and that I am a disgrace to the company even though all the other workers had failed too. My father is furious and he says that if I don't win the next competition coming up in one month and make him look good so he has a good impression, he is going to suspend me for a month without pay. I do some research and find a drug called Speed Xtra that could really help me increase my speed because it drastically makes your heart rate go up and it gives you a lot of energy. I decide to order the drug online because I don't want to jeopardize our fiances with our bills and the house payments and most of all I don't want to let you down no matter what. So for two weeks now I have been taking the drug and I have not told you anything because I don't want you to get upset or worried, I just always want you to be happy! The drug Speed Xtra is great because I have improved my speed a lot but it gives me a horrible pain in my ribs and my stomach because of the speeding up in my heart rate and energy. But I get addicted to this drug and one day I mistakenly overdose and I collapse at work. I am rushed to the hospital, you get a phone call from the Doctor and he tells you everything. When you come to the hospital, I am laying in my bed and I tell you that I'm very sorry for keeping this secret from you and I tell you the reason why I took the drug and I tell you that I love you. I also say that it is up to you whether or not I continue using the drug or stop using it all together and I promise to go with whatever decision you make because your happiness means everything to me. So how would you feel about this? What would be your decision about the drug, would you want me to continue using it or stop using it for good? Would you be very angry with me? What would be your first words and the first thing that you would do after I told you everything and apologized to you and told you that I loved you?